I really guess I am that guy. The guy who has a blog, tells people to read it, and then alternates between abandoning and reviving it for years. It's like the crossfit of writing onli--HAHA JUST KIDDING nothing is as bad as those people. The shame in letting the blog die has finally overcome the shame in returning. I didn't really quit this blog...I just stopped writing it down. My friends will (bemoaningly) attest to that.
It's been four years and we've learned nothing about making smart commercials. Here we are in this golden age of television with a seemingly infinite amount of good programming and yet the ads in between haven't improved one bit. Maybe they just know we're not paying attention anyways and are focusing on getting real estate on the other screens we're looking at. Unfortunately, I can't help but notice how lazy (and in today's case, dishonest!) they are. It's the second Just for Men commercial I've written about. Let's check it out!
They sent two women on a REAL* (not real) guys night out! It's just such perfect timing that the "actor portrayal" disclaimer pops up just as they say "real." It's like the fake news of commercials! For now, let's just look at the premise of the commercial itself...why exactly did someone think this was a good or interesting idea? Whoa, they let women tag along on a guys night out?! Is that even legal?! I would venture to say most "guys night out" activities are centered around trying to talk to women (amongst single guys, of course) but I guess men and women hanging out is really supposed to blow our minds.
But fine, Just for Men broke all the rules and now these women are...supposed to find out who uses Just for Men...for some reason? What exactly were these women looking for beyond how the guys look, anyways? Would a wimpy Just for Men user not be good at pool or order a Cosmo to drink? Of course the girls guess the wrong guy, right? Nope! The dude just tells the girls, "hey, it's me" and the girls act surprised* (except who actually knows because this isn't real). We were having an experiment here until you ruined it! Isn't the whole premise of Just for Men that people don't have to know that you use it?
So surprise, surprise, it's the one of the group that looks like Jamie fucking Lannister. Of course it isn't enough of a message to just say "see, even young, attractive men can go grey and we can easily help." They also had to use the super exaggerated "before and after" approach, the first of which looks like what I look like after binge drinking for an entire weekend in Vegas. And after using Just for Men? A spray tan, healthy looking skin, and far more complimentary lighting. They might as well have put him through the flower crown filter on Snapchat for good measure. Of course the attractive (albeit mildly grey) version is the one we see the guy actually using the product. But does he actually use the product? Who knows, the commercial said they were all actors!
The only possible explanation for this bizarre commercial making any semblance of sense is that it was meant to be longer than 15 seconds but someone changed their minds and decided to make it a 15 second spot and someone did the best they could to cut it down. If a longer version previously aired, I never saw it--and I don't need to see any more of a sexy murder reenactment version of a hair dye commercial.
