I've really been dreading having to watch more of these commercials (pause for a second: THERE IS ANOTHER ONE OF THESE ASININE COMMERCIALS ON MY TV RIGHT NOW! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! MAKE THEM GO AWAY! SOMEONE!) to write up another post. Unfortunately I kind of screwed myself by announcing I would do a review of all these commercials in the first entry so now I'm stuck doing them. Knowing that sometimes I can get a whole 30 pageviews in one day, I'm sure the masses would be calling for my head if I were to abandon this project....so here we go again. As before, you can see all the commercials HERE.
Concert: The fact that this commercial was allegedly based on a true store does not make it any less dumb. Really convincing performances by the actors who played the parents, right? My main problem with this spot is this: are we really supposed to believe that not only did these parents both lose track of their child, but that the child somehow made it all the way on the stage and when he began to play the piano, someone on the stage crew opened the curtain instead of grabbing the kid? This commercial has so many implausibilities that it just induced a run on sentence. But hey, based on a true story! Can't refute that!
The Greatest: I have to be honest, this commercial actually wasn't that bad in concept....but why oh why is the music selection "Celebration?!" Why did we need music anyway? It made this commercial go from a mild cheddar to a sharp cheddar...just a little too cheesy. (that joke was cheesy in itself wasn't it?)
You Can Let Go: You can let go now in these situations:
Letting go of the bike: Go ahead dad, let go of my bike--I'm growing up!
Giving her away at her wedding: Don't worry dad, my husband will take care of me.
In the hospital: Yeah, you can go ahead and die now. Stop holding on and let go.
Really? The commercial starts off cute and then you realize the girl is imploring her dad to die. Then it's just morbid.
Pinata: This one is pretty bland, but have you ever seen a pinata break so perfectly like that? It splits right down the middle so every piece of candy rains down to the ground. Just glorious...but probably rigged.
You Raise Me Up: I was mostly disappointed that Rich Rodriguez didn't make it into this commercial. The true comedy of this commercial comes from the online description of it:
"Our goal was to develop a visual montage that would compliment the rich meaning of these lyrics. We looked at the theme, "Raise Me Up" and put a team of researchers on the task of selecting scenes that both caught the spirit of the song and flowed together to tell a story."
A team of researchers?! These guys mean business folks. Great research here.
Homecoming: First off, this poor girl had her confidence and self-image shattered by values.com when they told her "you're so ugly and repulsive...you'll be perfect for this commercial!" On top of that, the whole concept of "true beauty" here is basically telling the audience "hey this girl is really ugly and usually wouldn't be in a situation like this." So they're telling us that she is ugly, but she's also not. Kind of counter intuitive if you ask me.
Crosswalk: Apparently the messaged intended by this commercial is that this kid should have offered to walk this woman across the street. Why do people think it's a rule that old people need to be walked across the street? Why don't old people require help walking on the sidewalk too? Is it harder walking on asphalt? Are old people scared they're going to fall down and motorists will just run them over? I don't understand.
Good Stuff: Two things: First, do you think you'd ever walk into a bar where you said you were feeling down and the bartender didn't serve you a drink? That bartender has zero business sense. Second, that guy in the commercial has pretty serious problems if the first thing he does when he fights with his wife is go off to a bar BY HIMSELF. Just sayin'.
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