Values.com: The Bane of My Existence, Part 3

I came to a terrifying realization today: what if they never take these commercials off the air?! They're obviously printing money at their offices somehow since everywhere I look they either have a commercial on tv or an ad on a billboard or a bus stop. I swear they just added more commercials to their website which means I might be stuck writing about these for a while. WHAT DID WE DO AS A SOCIETY TO DESERVE THIS?? Do they know we're laughing/cringing at the sight of these commercials so they just keep making more in spite of us? Are they reading this blog and laughing at me? This has to stop. As before, you can watch all of their commercials to your heart's content HERE.

Classroom: This one is really too easy as I'm pretty sure everyone asks the same question upon seeing this: "Doesn't this imply that they've cheated before then?" Yes. Yes it does. But hey I guess they didn't get caught those times so good for them!

Cafeteria: They really nailed the early 90's "Clueless" type feel for this commercial. Is that what they were going for? I think it would have been a way better commercial if it had been set in a prison. Same message, but way more compelling.

Generosity: You know what isn't generous about this? Spending school funding on a bus to take an entire busload of kids to drop of a bag of cans to a shelter. I'm not sure how much it costs for a bus trip like that, but I can assure you that money could have been donated to the shelter instead. Those kids are so selfish.

Top Shelf: Making a mess in the grocery store and then abandoning the scene of the crime for someone else to deal with: pass it on!

Everyday Heroes: Hey Vanessa's mom, why didn't you just teach your daughter how to read if she was already in the third grade and didn't know how? You obviously had the time to write that letter and it looks like you either don't work or are off early enough to pick her up from school...so what have you been doing all this time instead of teaching poor Vanessa to read? The description for this commercial cracks me up:

The director wanted a warm look for the spot that would be reminiscent of the tone in the movie October Sky. During filming, the crew shot so as to create that look through the lens. In post-production, the director, cinematographer and editor changed the coloring to give the desired effect of warm light. This made for a much more intimate setting and feel. The art directors were also responsible for re-decorating the classroom to give it the desired look -- they hung up the alphabet, artwork, bulletin boards and even painted the walls! The crew also had to put everything back to normal after the filming.

Um, it's a terrible commercial, not a multi-million dollar film. I don't think anyone noticed any of this work you did...and now that I do, I still don't care.

Reach: So I guess we're just not supposed to notice that the two lane highway they're on is allegedly one way only and there aren't cars driving the wrong way. Magical. But the real magic was apparently in the acting.

The concluding line - "Saved the day!" - was unscripted. It came naturally to the actor, the director liked it, and the team decided to keep it.

Impressive stuff! How did he come up with that? And why didn't I see him on the Golden Globes last weekend?

Truck Stop: So did he take that photo out of his wallet so he wouldn't feel guilty next time this happened? I couldn't tell.

Deli: Sorry, but I'm not going to be nice if guy at the deli counter is being a jerk. If this were real life, the guy would have stood up and said "hey, go eff yourself." Insults. Throw them back!